Chapter 5: First Comes Love…then comes hcg levels not doubling

“First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage.” I sang that while jumping rope as a little kid and knew from a very young age I wanted to be a Mother. I loved babies and I wanted to be a young Mom and have 4 kids. I just assumed I would get married and my husband and I would decide when then time was right and it would just happen. It would be easy! My kids would not be the whiny kind, they would definitely not pick their nose and they would always have hair brushed and braided. Uh huh… I had never really even heard of what HCG was and learning about hcg levels not doubling was going to be a new term we would grow to dislike. here is a great link to learn more about why HCG is important when you are pregnant.

I met my Husband in my late 20’s and we dated for 6 years (YES 6) and I finally got him to marry me in 2011. We lived in Chicago and were truly loving our life. We both wanted children, so we decided to just see what would happen and it was up to God when we would get pregnant. We had no idea that we were about to start a long journey and it would not be quite as easy as we thought it would be.

2 months after our wedding, we were at the Pearl Jam concert and I noticed I was spotting a little bit when I went to the bathroom. I figured I was starting my period and just carried on rocking out and enjoying the night. It was the best concert!

The next day it went away and it dawned on me that I was actually not on the right week of my cycle and what if?!? So, I took a home pregnancy test and immediately saw 2 bright red lines…we were pregnant! Oh my god!

WE WERE PREGNANT and I was going to be a Mom!

That is a feeling I will never forget. That one moment in time when your life is about to change forever. You are carrying an actual life inside you and there is nothing more precious and awesome than that responsibility. We scheduled the doctor appointment to get my blood drawn and confirm the good news. I remember thinking I could feel a flutter already (just gas) and could not wait to find out our due date. The doctor called with the news that I was in fact pregnant, but that my HCG levels were very low and he wanted us to prepare that this may not be a viable pregnancy. You know that moment when you feel like everything around you flips upside down and feels like you are spinning?? I had that. We were to come back in for more blood work in a week to see what was happening. That next week, I did not want to move my body. Not even lift a finger. I wanted to keep myself in a bubble and do everything possible to let this little life inside me keep growing.

The next week we got our blood drawn and they said that the HCG levels not doubling was not a good sign. They also could not hear a heartbeat. We went home feeling hopeful for a miracle and more waiting. A few days later, I fell into excruciating pain at night and my Husband was at a baseball game. I called my doctor and he wanted me to go right to the ER. The pain was on my lower left side right and felt as if I was being stabbed. After a series of tests, the ER team was able to find what the culprit was.

I had a pregnancy that was growing in my left fallopian tube.

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